Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
