I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
