no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
