your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
