Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
