but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
