That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
