Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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