Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
