I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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