you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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