Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
