It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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