it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
