is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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