What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
