uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
BRING THE BAGELS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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