I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Even my vagina gasped.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
