when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
