Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
