on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
