that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
