Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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