We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's rum buckets o'clock
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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