i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
