no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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