It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
