don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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