btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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