do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
