Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
