When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
