This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
