yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
