drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
