exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
