well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
