pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
