i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
