they need to just BURY HIM!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
