I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
