Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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