His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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