From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
