I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
