All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
