I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
