I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
