you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
