R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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