super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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