Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
